one of those things i think no one wants to sit through

proceed with caution: this post deals with issues that may not be suitable for younger readers. and topics that, because they are being discussed by myself (your daughter, niece, etc), may freak you out. i will not be forwarding this entry to any work emails. i think it might ruffle some feathers if found.

and now we begin. as you remember...i quoted myself in a post yesterday, and here's how it came about.

its 2am. unfortunately i am lying in the top bunk of my bed in the Kinlay House hostel and i cannot fall back asleep. kelly is already sleeping soundly in the bunk across from mine (on the bottom) and rhiannon, our new friend from Australia is also asleep on the bunk below me.

the door opens and chole our other roommate who we don't know very well walks in with a boy. now, i don't have contacts in, or glasses, so the whole scene has a fuzzy outline to it. but i see they are holding hands and hop up into her bed together and seemly look like they are cuddling. my naive brain says "oh. maybe they're just going to go to sleep." yeah...right. from this mindset, i decide to just continue to feign sleeping. my head (unfortunately) is facing chole's bunk. i have an excellenct view, as we are both on the top. and then i hear a bunkle come undone. then a zipper. and giggling. and a lot of rustling of sheets. i decide to open my eyes a sliver hoping to confirm that what is happening is going on under sheets. and praying that chole is not actually stupid enough to try and quietly have full out sex in a room with three other girls.

things are going on ontop of the sheets. and chole is stupid enough. i open my eyes for half a second to see that she's mounted him. my brain sort of does this explosion. there's like huge bombs of the words "oh my god!" going off. and now that she's on top of him...and they think i'm asleep, should i say something? by the time i've had a minor breakdown and processed the situation a bit more both of them are already going at it. its horrible. i think "i can't be the only one awake." but chole's very quiet. and so is tall-short-haired guy...as i will know him.

so i'm stuck with my head facing the action...eyes pressed tightly shut...begging for it to end. have you ever seen the movie Catch and Release with Jennifer Garner? watch like the first 5 minutes of that clip. basically i'm Jennifer in the tub making those hand motions like "please just get this over with now."

there is more rustling and i can only assumed they have switched places because the bed is making a lot more noise now. how is kelly not awake? eventually things slow down. they are whispering. i have to hear stupid things like tall-short-haired guy saying "you are so fucking hot." and "give me head." and chole saying "yeah...i like you. i mean, kinda." with a sarcastic edge. har-de-fricking-har. evidently the guy tries to convince her because she is moaning again. and they they're talking again. and then the sheets start to russle and i decide i am not sitting through another round. so i open my eyes and say:

"okay, seriously...i'm awake. can you just...not?" in a very annoyed voice.

"oh my god. oh my god. oh my god."

"oh shit, sorry. shit."

then they quickly hop out of bed and run out of the room. and then kelly busts out laughing so hard. evidently she had woken up after they had switch positions to her bed shaking. and the mattress above her threatening to pass through the rails of the bunk because of the force from above. she was suppressing laughter in her pillow the whole time until i told them to get out. she keeps laughing and i poke my head over the side of my bed to see what rhiannon's reaction is.

"rhiannon. rhiannon."

"huh...what? what?! what happened?"

she was asleep the whole time. meanwhile i have the image of chole stradling tall-short-haired guy burned on the inside of my eyelids. chole comes back the next morning around 1o in a t-shirt and her underwear. she really doesn't say anything but "hey guys..." before she slips in to the bathroom leaving the three of us to crack up.

ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. ew. now the whole thing seems funny...but at the time i was horrified.