i have an address in italy

went on facebook tonight and had two new friend requests. and i didn't know them. clever deduction helped me figure out that they are my new roommates. 2 of the 3. so now for your viewing pleasure here is a street view of my apartment complex abroad (and i don't trust my google maps skills 100% because the address is in a foreign country and different format, but i hope i'm fairly close.)

so i'm a 20 minute walk from school and 5 minutes from food and shopping. plus three bedrooms. i'm really hoping i get my own. haha. i doubt it will work out, but that would be great. and we have our own washer. which i will gladly trade for not having a dishwasher. although it would be nice to have a showerhead...but i guess Europeans aren't into that. all in all, i'm pretty satisfied. here's where i'm located in the city:

i don't have any new year's resolutions

i think i made some resolutions last year. but i can't remember what they were. get a boyfriend? lol. who knows...

i don't really think making resolutions works. only examining your life once a year seems a bit lazy to me i guess. making goals for yourself would be something i'd like to do all the time. not just on december 31st. self-examination seems to be pretty important to growing and becoming the person you want to be - at least in my opinion - so why would want to do it only one day a year? i think i keep repeating myself.

i leave in 16 days. i'm getting really excited. the only thing i'm nervous about at this point is money. will i have enough? and what is enough any way? i've saved up some, i have some left over from loans. i'm just going to have to be careful. cautious. my goal at this point is to only spend money on necessary items until i leave (gas for the car, and maybe a meal or too).

speaking of money...i did spend some while in kato. i got some from my parents and then decided to purchase a global gps system. well...when i say global that's not true. its really of europe and america. but i'm excited. on amazon it was 100 bucks less than best buy. and i think it'll be a good thing to have. obviously i'll have no idea where i'm going when i'm traveling in foreign countries.

and somehow during that paragraph my mind wandered to the word "pickpocket." lol. i'm gonna need some seriously tight security when i have that gadget on me.

...'til next time. happy new year.

i leave three weeks from today. exactly.

exactly from today.

the panic is starting to creep in. its tapping me on the shoulder and then turning the other way. its just the beginning. lol.

this whole holiday season ended up being about traveling. i understand that it is a big deal for my family. i know it is. but talking about it, and watching them get worried about it, does not help me. in conversation, i try to stay calm...but sometimes end up feeling or getting defensive. things i want to say, but never do:

"yes, i am actually going to go over to a foreign country and pick up a local guy so that he can hick it back to america with me."

"of course, i'm actually planning on doing all of my cross-country travel alone."

"oh really? i had no idea that pickpocketing was such a big deal. please enlighten me."

yeah. i don't know if i could squeeze anymore sarcasm in there. i know everyone is nervous for me. but them being nervous makes me start doubting the situation. which is not where i want to me. i know i'm going to be fine. i believe that i will not contract any life-threatening aliments while over there. lol. i'm grumpy. i think i just feel like everyones on my back. and i want it to stop.

no internet...what?

the wynns had no phone/tv/internet for the past couple of days. its weird. i've been wondering how i ever got through life without a constant connection from my computer to wireless or a telephone jack. to pass the time, i've been working on my quilt. i'm super excited. the picture of the purple blocks are the ones that i've done so far. it actually just the same block, in alternating colors. there are three blocks in the pattern, you just rotate them different degrees to get the full quilt. i took that picture yesterday, so i've actually made three more blocks since then. the same pattern, and same colors. the back will end up being a sort of celery green color. i'm going to try and get the blocks all done before i leave for italy...which is offically in less than a month now. whoa.

the picture below is what is will hopefully look like when i'm done : )

i'm going to stop using captilization

i think it looks cooler. i know it will bug english majors. but at this point...that's okay. capitalizing online is getting to be a hassle.

i made a new playlist in iTunes called "the best of switchfoot." and i totally forgot about this song, until it played tonight. i tried to find one without an actual video or lyrics going through it, so you can just listen. i love it.

I Want This Shirt

it makes me laugh. well...most Threadless shirt do. its called "Musical Chairs." haha.

Shock

we just watched this in my advertising class. i said "whoa" outloud after it. haha. i know...its a campaign run by dove, but still, obviously this kind of stuff happens. crazy.

I'm Alone

now...before you go reading into the title...no worries. this is not some post about a deep emotional detachment from the world. its just about me. and my neuroses.

things were different on break. i saw min a lot. i mean...A LOT. which was so fun. i missed her. i think normally when i go home, i don't have that good of a time, so now its strange. and i'm so sick of school. and now that i'm in winona...i feel weird. detached. like i have to grow back into the life i've created. and i know, i've only been gone for a few days. but it freaks me out.

i like things to be comfortable. and its not. because i'm going through some sort of personality, relational growing pains. and i bet this will last for like 2 days and i'll be fine. but it doesn't feel like it right now. like i am the piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit.

and i know sort of where all this is stemming from...and its ridiculous. i have a problem sometimes with having my own opinions. i know that sounds super lame. but its true. like, if something i think it totally different from someone else, somehow that isn't okay? for example the election... i don't know. basically i'm not secure enough in my decisions sometimes. so then when my thoughts or feelings or decisions are different from someone i trust, it gets me all confused. it makes me feel like a lesser person. and now i feel like i'm admitting too much. and the ache in my throat has started...

i wonder if this is all just some sort of stress reaction. two weeks left of school. about 6 weeks before i'm out of the country. and the biggest question about that is...how hard is it going to be to fit back into my old life after that? how much with my friends have moved on by the time i'm in MN again? will they still want to talk to me? will they still be interested in me?

wow. this is turning into a super big pity party. and i'm pulling the plug.

Black Friday = Bad News Bears

this article infuriates me. how can people stand by when a person is dying? or something as stupid as a deal on a TV. come on.

read it here.

Please Don't Tell Me That This is All I Talk About

i would like to deny my obsession with Twilight. the movie. but i can't...let's make that clear first.

that being said...this will be probably the billionth post about something related to it. plus i need to let you all in on my thoughts about the movie - which i will be seeing again on saturday.

so i gave you a brief intro the movie's soundtrack with my last post about Paramore's "Decode." the thing is...basically all the songs on the soundtrack rock just as much. they have sort of a haunting tone. underlying with pain and edginess. it goes right along with the feel of the movie. i don't know...its hard to describe, but amazing. let me go through the list...

1. Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

it's just a cool song. nothing i would normally listen too. and the melody is haunting. it sounds like the harmonies are almost grinding against each other in like a 7th stretch - okay i can't remember the real musical name - but you might get my drift.

2. Decode by Paramore

we've already talked about this...

3. Full Moon by The Black Ghosts

i can see where it is clearly in the film, and i like that. its more of an acoustic vein...which sets itself up nicely against more techno, rock, bluesy tracks.

5. Spotlight by Mutemath

i always heard i should like this band...now i know why.

8. I Caught Myself by Paramore

i LOVE this song. i love it more than decode. it makes me want to be in love again. its great. i found myself numerous times throughout the day breaking the rules of my blown-out speakers and cranking this song while singing to it at the top of my lungs.

9. Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation

sounds like Tegan and Sara...which is interesting. there is a mixing of melodies over the top of each other which is an awesome affect, and then there are those haunting harmonies again.

10. Never Think by Rob Pattinson

i didn't know he could sing. he can. and i like it. his voice is a bit of John Mayer, but more painful. and i can't really understand him, which is a bit charming. plus its a good mix between the other songs...this is more the blues. and pain. same with "Let Me Sign" his other track on the disc (#13)

11. Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine

i forgot how much i loved this band and then i heard this song. its amazing. and now i'm asking for their cd. so simple. soft. and i just keep picturing the end of the movie, because that's where it comes in. the melodies are great, and there seems to be an accordion or something similar playing on the 2nd verse, which is awesome.

if you'd like to hear what i'm talking about for yourself...you can preview all the songs here on Amazon. happy listening!

Round and Round the Lyrics They Go

i really like this song. it gets stuck in my head. and i would have just put the song up - and not the video - but i can't do that on Blogger. hmm...i guess that's one point to Xanga.

anywho...enjoy. i'll have the full critique of Twilight later. i've decided i have to see it a second time before forming my opinion fully.

Sometimes I Feel Smart

we have to read this for fiction writing on Tuesday. i've read the story before, but its still intriguing after a few reads. Hemingway believed that a story should have many layers. its known as the iceberg theory. basically if you think about looking at an iceberg in water, you can only see the top of it, but it goes much deeper below the water's surface. in the same respect, he thought that stories should exist 1/8th on the page and 7/8ths off of it.

so when reading his fiction, most of what hew as hoping the read to see is not even on the page. its below the surface. you have to think about it to discover the deeper meaning. as a writer...i find that pretty interesting. and intimidating. here's his short story below if you care to read.

Hills Like White Elephants

By Ernest Hemingway

The hills across the valley of the Ebro were long and white. On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun. Close against the side of the station there was the warm shadow of the building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open door into the bar, to keep out flies. The American and the girl with him sat at a table in the shade, outside the building. It was very hot and the express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes. It stopped at this junction for two minutes and went to Madrid.

'What should we drink?' the girl asked. She had taken off her hat and put it on the table.

'It's pretty hot,' the man said.

'Let's drink beer.'

'Dos cervezas,' the man said into the curtain.

'Big ones?' a woman asked from the doorway.

'Yes. Two big ones.'

The woman brought two glasses of beer and two felt pads. She put the felt pads and the beer glass on the table and looked at the man and the girl. The girl was looking off at the line of hills. They were white in the sun and the country was brown and dry.

'They look like white elephants,' she said.

'I've never seen one,' the man drank his beer.

'No, you wouldn't have.'

'I might have,' the man said. 'Just because you say I wouldn't have doesn't prove anything.'

The girl looked at the bead curtain. 'They've painted something on it,' she said. 'What does it say?'

'Anis del Toro. It's a drink.'

'Could we try it?'

The man called 'Listen' through the curtain. The woman came out from the bar.

'Four reales.' 'We want two Anis del Toro.'

'With water?'

'Do you want it with water?'

'I don't know,' the girl said. 'Is it good with water?'

'It's all right.'

'You want them with water?' asked the woman.

'Yes, with water.'

'It tastes like liquorice,' the girl said and put the glass down.

'That's the way with everything.'

'Yes,' said the girl. 'Everything tastes of liquorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe.'

'Oh, cut it out.'

'You started it,' the girl said. 'I was being amused. I was having a fine time.'

'Well, let's try and have a fine time.'

'All right. I was trying. I said the mountains looked like white elephants. Wasn't that bright?'

'That was bright.'

'I wanted to try this new drink. That's all we do, isn't it - look at things and try new drinks?'

'I guess so.'

The girl looked across at the hills.

'They're lovely hills,' she said. 'They don't really look like white elephants. I just meant the colouring of their skin through the trees.'

'Should we have another drink?'

'All right.'

The warm wind blew the bead curtain against the table.

'The beer's nice and cool,' the man said.

'It's lovely,' the girl said.

'It's really an awfully simple operation, Jig,' the man said. 'It's not really an operation at all.'

The girl looked at the ground the table legs rested on.

'I know you wouldn't mind it, Jig. It's really not anything. It's just to let the air in.'

The girl did not say anything.

'I'll go with you and I'll stay with you all the time. They just let the air in and then it's all perfectly natural.'

'Then what will we do afterwards?'

'We'll be fine afterwards. Just like we were before.'

'What makes you think so?'

'That's the only thing that bothers us. It's the only thing that's made us unhappy.'

The girl looked at the bead curtain, put her hand out and took hold of two of the strings of beads.

'And you think then we'll be all right and be happy.'

'I know we will. Yon don't have to be afraid. I've known lots of people that have done it.'

'So have I,' said the girl. 'And afterwards they were all so happy.'

'Well,' the man said, 'if you don't want to you don't have to. I wouldn't have you do it if you didn't want to. But I know it's perfectly simple.'

'And you really want to?'

'I think it's the best thing to do. But I don't want you to do it if you don't really want to.'

'And if I do it you'll be happy and things will be like they were and you'll love me?'

'I love you now. You know I love you.'

'I know. But if I do it, then it will be nice again if I say things are like white elephants, and you'll like it?'

'I'll love it. I love it now but I just can't think about it. You know how I get when I worry.'

'If I do it you won't ever worry?'

'I won't worry about that because it's perfectly simple.'

'Then I'll do it. Because I don't care about me.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't care about me.'

'Well, I care about you.'

'Oh, yes. But I don't care about me. And I'll do it and then everything will be fine.'

'I don't want you to do it if you feel that way.'

The girl stood up and walked to the end of the station. Across, on the other side, were fields of grain and trees along the banks of the Ebro. Far away, beyond the river, were mountains. The shadow of a cloud moved across the field of grain and she saw the river through the trees.

'And we could have all this,' she said. 'And we could have everything and every day we make it more impossible.'

'What did you say?'

'I said we could have everything.'

'No, we can't.'

'We can have the whole world.'

'No, we can't.'

'We can go everywhere.'

'No, we can't. It isn't ours any more.'

'It's ours.'

'No, it isn't. And once they take it away, you never get it back.'

'But they haven't taken it away.'

'We'll wait and see.'

'Come on back in the shade,' he said. 'You mustn't feel that way.'

'I don't feel any way,' the girl said. 'I just know things.'

'I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do -'

'Nor that isn't good for me,' she said. 'I know. Could we have another beer?'

'All right. But you've got to realize - '

'I realize,' the girl said. 'Can't we maybe stop talking?'

They sat down at the table and the girl looked across at the hills on the dry side of the valley and the man looked at her and at the table.

'You've got to realize,' he said, ' that I don't want you to do it if you don't want to. I'm perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.'

'Doesn't it mean anything to you? We could get along.'

'Of course it does. But I don't want anybody but you. I don't want anyone else. And I know it's perfectly simple.'

'Yes, you know it's perfectly simple.'

'It's all right for you to say that, but I do know it.'

'Would you do something for me now?'

'I'd do anything for you.'

'Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?'

He did not say anything but looked at the bags against the wall of the station. There were labels on them from all the hotels where they had spent nights.

'But I don't want you to,' he said, 'I don't care anything about it.'

'I'll scream,' the girl siad.

The woman came out through the curtains with two glasses of beer and put them down on the damp felt pads. 'The train comes in five minutes,' she said.

'What did she say?' asked the girl.

'That the train is coming in five minutes.'

The girl smiled brightly at the woman, to thank her.

'I'd better take the bags over to the other side of the station,' the man said. She smiled at him.

'All right. Then come back and we'll finish the beer.'

He picked up the two heavy bags and carried them around the station to the other tracks. He looked up the tracks but could not see the train. Coming back, he walked through the bar-room, where people waiting for the train were drinking. He drank an Anis at the bar and looked at the people. They were all waiting reasonably for the train. He went out through the bead curtain. She was sitting at the table and smiled at him.

'Do you feel better?' he asked.

'I feel fine,' she said. 'There's nothing wrong with me. I feel fine.'

To the Point

the new Bond movie was fantastic. and that's all you need to know.

...now go see it.

These Are Too Hilarious For Me Not to Share:

Gap likes The Office. so this year, instead of John Krasinski looking cool with a scarf...they've got Rainn. and his moves. enjoy...

Adoring Fans...

Sorry. I tried to post twice yesterday and it didn't work. Boo.

There is this checklist I have to complete for the Study Abroad office. It's almost done. I am so Gold - its a temperment thing we do at work. I just have figure out which classes I'm taking out next Fall (when the schedule isn't even out), file an
"Intent to Return" form, meeting with the Business Office, and then its all over.

There are only four weeks left of school. I am ready. Seriously.

My mom read "Twilight" when she was in Hawaii, which I didn't know until today. It was so funny, me and her talking over our work phones about Edward and Bella:

"It was so ambigious, it was like he wanted to take her into the next life in the beginning, but then I don't think he did in the end."

"No mom, he didn't turn into a vampire in the end."

"Oh. Well then why did he want to in the beginning?"

"He didn't. He wanted to eat her...basically."

"Oh."

And I can just see the people peering over the top or side of her cubicle giving her a what-the-heck-are-you-talking-about look. Haha.

Speaking of that book, the movie comes out next week. I went a watched some interviews with Rob Pattison (Edward) last night. There is something so charming about a guy who has no clue that he's cute. Basically he just went on about how there was no way that he was going to get the part because all the book talks about is how gorgeous Edward is, and he is definately not that. Now, I don't think he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen, but I think he fits the part very well.

Somewhere after those I was looking online, I can't remember where...but I came across these great pictures of Rob and Kristen (Bella) - and some other members of the cast - taken for Vanity Fair. It made me want to be a photographer. The pictures are so different, at least I think the photographer chose really interesting stances and poses for everyone. Plus the way they are dressed set against the field background is a really cool contrast. And everyone looks so pretty. Lol. Plus, I wish I could make my eyes look like that. Like just say in my head "now look serious" and look super good doing it. That'd be great. Here's a link to the articles and a slideshow of the pictures. The whole cast...

Halloween. Whoa.

so i'm in the cities this weekend. i've been to the MOA two days in a row. so i think i've spent maybe...1/4 of my time at the mall. insane? yes.

what else did i do? well yesterday i got in my great costume - ceiling fan: me wearing a shirt that says "go ceilings" and wearing face paint - which no one really commented on. went to mitch's with luke. then went to a party full of kids that i graduated high school with. i thought it was going to be totally awkward. but it wasn't. which was very, very cool. everyone was nice to me. in the way that they actually looked at me when i walked by and some of them said hi. and some of they really talked to me too. the only downfall was running into my brother there. but...oh well.

the other thing i like about being up here...there are boys everywhere. i'm not joking. and not like in a "hot guys everywhere" kind of thing. there are just guys to hang out with. there were definitely more guys at the party. and i've been hanging out with guys 24/7 since i got here. i think its fun. plus i get sick of walking around a campus full of 75% women sometimes.

mk...we're gonna try to find something to do. lata.

Down to the Wire

i watched a couple political speeches this weekend. one was Sarah Palin and the other Obama. all i really learned was, that when its this close to the election, the details of the campaign aren't really that important. the things they are going to do...don't really make it into the speeches. it was all about what the opponent said. what they opponent did. what was wrong. what they were going to do to fix it. and then joe the plumber. on and on.

i guess i really feel like the election is a dividing kind of thing. i mean, i think its great we have the freedom to choose our leader. but at the same time, it kind of freaks me out as to how much politics can run a person's life. i've been wondering, if the side you (speaking metaphorically about anyone)doesn't win, we will all be able to get over and get behind the next president? will that even be possible? i feel like there are so many people taking such huge stands, and so what happens if we can't get it together? as novemember 4th gets closer...i've been wondering about that.

on a totally separate topic: i want Snow Patrol's new cd. i bet its awesome. also, i was checking out Switchfoot's website today and found an entry by their media guy (the person who takes pictures of them and who makes the podcasts) about their tour and specifically about their show in MN. he posted a few pictures, so i thought i'd share them. i just think its cool...i was there. haha. okay, actually i can't upload them here. but here's the link.

Hahaha.

i was reminded of this video when Switchfoot put part of the cover in one of their songs at their concert. its funny. enjoy...

Group Work is My New Hobby

let me just say first...i love the library computers. they have huge screens. i can see my whole Word document. and even two pages at a time...without squinting. its pretty awesome. for real.

so basically i have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. at least it feels like it. and we're halfway through the semester ladies and gentleman. ugh. my shoulder is starting to cramp up. i have been sitting at this computer for two hours. holy crap.

right now the name of the game is group. group work to be exact. and it blows. i have this huge project going on in my tech writing class - i.e. the class i cannot, ever screw up in again - and then i have this project going on in my advertising class. and its with this girl i really can't stand. she thinks she is right all the time. we're working on our draft for tomorrow (well...its not really a draft, because its due. and final.) but she's going on about comma placement...and i'm thinking "are you the English major here? no...you are not. so shut it. up. now. damn you." haha. no, really. i'm serious. she finally left. i mean this whole thing has to go her way. and i opened up a Word doc and started putting it together and its like "are you going to remember do this? are you going to add in that?" hey, lady, i can read. i'm not stupid. let me finish. at least she is gone.

also i have another fiction story due next week. ah!! i just started tonight and i'm kind freaked. i'm writing in 3rd person about a younger guy (31), Charlie, whose wife leaves him with their two year old. i'm not sure exactly what the conflict will be. i'm guessing something along the lines of: "oh my god. i have a baby now. and i'm 31. what do i do?" but i am not male, and do not have a baby...so we'll see how that goes.

last thing, before i jet off to study with some people for my theater test tomorrow. i agreed to help with hair and makeup for the play "5 Women Wearing the Same Dress". and although i know i will be kicking myself the whole week i'm doing it - see me working, doing homework, and going to 2-3 hour rehersals and then shows every night - i'm excited. i feel involved. go me.

mk...my right arm is about to fall off. good night, and good luck.

This Makes Me Smile...

and i'm bored in class. so yay for The Office, i can't wait to watch you on Thursday : )

Hayley's TV Reviews - So Far This Season....

okay, so i like to think of myself as the kind of person who doesn't watch a lot of tv, but that's not true. i love tv. well i love my shows. and so here are the ones i watch and what i think of them this far in the season (about a month for some, and less for others...)

1. One Tree Hill

season 6 of OTH is proving to be a disspoinment...i don't really care about what's going on. maybe its because all of things happening to the main characters are things i can no longer relate to. or something is off with the tension. i'm not pulling for anyone. plus...it seems to choppy. each week is just it. then next week. they don't flow together anymore. the stories are all mixed up. and its horrible watching one of my all time favorites go down the tube. i'm guessing this season will be it for lucas, nathan, haley, brooke, and peyton.

2. 90210

okay, stop groaning and let me type. i apologize for this semi-embarassing pick, but seriously...i love it. its new. its exciting to watch. i can relate to it. plus i really like all of the characters - minus the ones you're not supposed to like. although there are plotlines that follow the previous 90210 that i'm not exactly sure about, the younger cast members are doing a great job. i can see a lot potential here. at least from my unqualified eyes. its fun to watch. and had hot ryan eggold. awesome.

3. Private Practice

although its only been 1 season, i really fell in love with this show over the summer. so now its back. the season priemere was last night. it was good. plus christopher from Gilmore Girls joined the cast this season. woot. its just one of those good juicy shows. that girls like. haha.

4. Supernatural

i personally think the boys have hit it off with a bang this year. tonight's episode was really revealing, although poor sam was hardly anywhere to be seen. so i'm excited. and i'm all caught up now...after missing the first couple episodes. although i'm not especially looking forward to the two boys being less chummy than normal, it'll make for a good show. plus the angle they're taking this season is really interesting...dean getting pulled out of hell by and angel because its God's plan. wow. go winchester's go!!

5. The Office

and last but not least...i'm nervous for this fifth season. i think my heart almost jumped out of my chest when jim proposed to pam in the season OPENER! the question is friends...will it last? and i say, there is no way. they can't keep the best couple ever together for the rest of the entire time the show is on tv. the main tension of the show is resolved...so who cares? now i realize there the whole andy-angela-dwight triangle happening now too. so that'll be good. i'm just waiting for the shit to really hit the fan. and i will be upset when it does...but i suppose it makes good tv. overall...i'm pretty excited for this season. its always funny. and has probably the best moments out of all the shows listed above. if not the best quotes to say to you friends the next day.

So the question is...what am i going to do without all of these for months over in Italy?

I Heart These Guys

hey kids...

so Sam (W) and i are going to a concert this saturday, and i am very excited about it : )

Relient K, Ludo, This Providence, and House of Heroes. and for those of you who aren't aware of the finer points about Relient K...well here's a taste. from the last tour of theirs i attended, they paid tribute to one of my favorite shows...

Isn't It Nice to Know That the Lining is Silver

alright, so about that 12 page story i have to have done by Tuesday...its not going so well. its now the weekend and i'm stuck. or more like procrastinating. but really...its saturday. please let it be okay that i'm not working on it. lol.

in other news...i told a boy that i like him. and i know, there's like 3 or less of you who actually read this, so you probably know who he is. but it was really kind of horrible. the actual event of it. i'm not the kind of person that just does those things...so my stomach was all tied up in little knots. i kept unbuttoning and rebuttoning the bottom button of my vest. things seemed to go well though. for the most part. and i doubt anything is going to come of it.

the weird thing to me is, i'm actually fairly upset that nothing is going to happen. and i didn't think i like him a ton. i mean, i knew i liked him...but not like i needed him to be my boyfriend this minute kind of thing. so here's my theory...although i like him, and would like it if he were my boyfriend, its just hard to take that i won't be getting a boyfriend period. like that i won't be getting anyone at all. right now. does that make sense? just kind of let down that i will continue to be alone. that's probably how i'd put it.

depressing right? lol. i think i just thought that since i was the one taking action that somehow things would come out in my favor. but that is not always how life works.

okay, i'm off to not write my story or do any sort of homework at all.

You'll Say Hello Forever...

here's something i feel relates to the last day of my life...

"if nothing changed, there'd be no butterflies." - anonymous

i've had a lot of butterflies lately. for all kinds of reasons.

p.s. it will be the weekend in less than 24 hours. yipee.

Procrastination is the Name of the Game

i'm just beginning to write my 12 page story that's due next Tuesday. i should have started like 2 weeks ago. but no...i didn't.

and now i'm sitting on here typing. ugh.

i made this gross frozen pasta salad thing today and now the whole apartment reeks. its horrible. gross. ugh.

okay...i need to type before my left hand starts begging me to stop. at this rate i need to have 3 pages a day done until Saturday, so i can edit it over the weekend. i think that sounds like a good idea...don't you?

Overheard in Kryzko at 11:21 a.m.

here's my own recent easedropping...

guy #1: "Man, I love going to this school."
(all three guys smirk or laugh under their breath)
guy #1: "It's funny...because all of you knew exactly why I said that too."
guy #2: "Yes, yes we did."
guy #1: "It's like my birthday, everyday."

and what i have to say to that is...pigs. i'm sitting like 2 feet away from them, its not like i don't know they are super excited because they are the only three guys sitting in the midst of a room full of chicks. and the way the said it...seriously?

i almost, almost, almost turned and looked at them directly, but then i couldn't do it. haha. they need to grow up. ridiculous.

Throw Me a Life-Raft...

i'm drowning in a sea of embarassment. my morning at work started off in this manner...

Alberta, HR director (my "big" boss as i call her, because she is the boss of my boss) walks into my office and says hello in a very cheery manner. she then goes on to say that she's waiting for Nicole (another HR employee) to come in because they had something to ask me. gulp. right? i'm thinking...oh crap. what did i do?

so Nicole walks in and they both stand there looking at each other then looking at me awkwardly. that is, until Alberta says, "So, do you want a boyfriend?"

"(insert me sputtering some nonsense until my strangled trying-not-to-sound-desperate-voice says) um...no?"

i mean, what was i supposed to say, "yes." haha. i know...i should have. so then Alberta asks "Oh, so you have a boyfriend?"

and then i feel lame answering, "no."

so then both of them smile at each other and go on to say that they think this guy who came into the bank yesterday, who works at the Tech college in their Training Dept. would be a good fit for me. and they wanted to see what i thought of him. lol.

yesterday when i met him...i can't even remember his name now, i thought he was cute. he also looked like he was in his mid to late twenties. which, i have nothing against, but my mind finds it highly unlikely that someone that age would want to go out with me. turns out i was wrong about his age...he's 22. so i told them that if he happened to be back in the bank, i would talk to him, but i would not be set up with him. and evidently we (Alberta, Nicole, and i) were on the same wave-link. Alberta said that he'll be coming back to meet with them next week...

haha. amusing.

My Teacher Told Me So

although Advertising is not my favorite class, i do like some of the commercials we're viewing. here's one i thought i'd share. its just so different. plus i love the song. i can't remember who its by...but i know its on my itunes.

Favorite "Overheard Everywhere"

i have a link to this site below. its of real things people all over the country have said, that stranger come and post on the site. hence the name "Overheard Everywhere." here's one of my favorites. probably because i'm an english major...

Another Tragic Incidence of the Blonde Leading the Blonde

Ditz #1: ...and then I was like, "Why did I fail spring semester, sir?" and then he was like, "You asked me if The Odyssey was an actual event, and stated that it was in every one of your papers on the subject, even after I told you it wasn't."
Ditz #2: Wait, it wasn't?

...hiding at the bottom of your swimming pool this September.

if you haven't noticed yet, most of my "titles" are lyrics to songs. kudos to you if you end up figuring out which songs for which posts.

today i feel...kind of alone. for the first time in a while. i'm not really sure what the deal is. i'm tired. my roommates are at odds, and i feel somewhat torn. i just don't like seeing people hurt. so that kind stinks. plus, i guess i kind of feel out of sorts with my friends. just one of those days where you feel like no one gets you. i think that's understandable. and it will pass.

so the CW is back. which is great for the gals for C405. well...mostly me and Sam (that would be Stenemen or #1, whichever you prefer). we watched Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill last night - both fabulous, and then 90210 tonight. yes, i know what you are thinking. 90210? come, on Hayley. and i agree. the acting was alright. not the best. the plot is pretty basic, and its been done. but there is a draw to the show that i think you might agree with. his name is Ryan Eggold and he is fantastic. he's one of the high school teacher's on the show. his character is very Jim-esk. its great. and he used to be on Dirt...which is kinda cool.

in other events, season 4 of the The Office came out today. i'm pumped. i'm thinking the special features are going to be uber awesome. i can't wait.

and here's something else i can't wait for. looks intense. woot.

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

i think this commercial is hilarious. i think its older. but i saw it on tv yesterday and it made me crack up. enjoy. and goodnite.

First Day of Classes...Eek!

so i have to tell you...one of my favorite parts of today was being able to say, "i'm a junior." no joke. i don't remember being this excited about it in high school. but now, it feels pretty cool. like, i'm almost done. halfway there. whew.

i had four classes today. three of them seem like they will be worth my time. i'm a little disappointed in advertising. which blows. seeing as i will be a Marketing intern next summer and wanted to get some knowledge on the subject before then. darn new professors. i told my mom today we could smell the fear on the new prof. i'm not kidding you. it was strange. i just sat there going, "okay, really?" i know, its not nice to be judgemental. shame on me.

anywho, i had astronomy, techinal writing, adversiting, and play analysis. and advanced creative writing tomorrow makes 5 classes. everybody seems to think that's a lot. but its 16 credits. the norm.

i have to sit down with JP (my advisor) on Wednesday and go over the classes i signed up for for Italy. i hope didin't screw that up. because, really, i already sent it in. so...yikes. idk. i can't really claim many of them to count towards university studies, since i'm basically done with those. and there is only one on italitan literature course offered. ho-hum...i spose it'll work out.

alright, i think i should get a head start on my reading. boo homework.

Fridays Off = Happy Hayley

i just finished watching "Stick It" with sam. it made me laugh. the soundtrack reminded me of "Step Up 2", which made me want to watch it. lame? yes. haha. i know. but the dancing was so darn good. no joke. even if the plot line was kinda shotty and the acting was off. who cares if they can bust a move right? right? haha. okay, i'll stop.

i have the day off tomorrow. i'm pumped. i get to sleep in : ) that's amazing. and then i get to go get the rest of my books for school. i can't believe classes begin on monday already. i mean, i'm not looking forward to it. but at the same time, its okay. it means my life is moving by at the pace of a snail or anything.

other things that have recently been taking up my time...let's see...the Twilight books. although i've finished them all, i've begun a new obsession with the movie. again, i realize how pathetic this is. but i'm excited for the movie. even if kristen stewart doesn't seem like the perfect fit. if stephenie meyer (the writer of the books) thinks kristen is great, and can pull it off, and has incredible chemistry with robert pattison (who plays edward), then i'm willing to believe her.

my brother actually moved out this week too. which is strange to me. i mean, i know that him and i didn't have the closest relatoinship (duh)...but its still strange that he isn't in the house anymore. but i do think it will be good for him. and for my parents. we'll all need to get used it. plus, he did mention that he would be coming back to visit our mom and dad weekly. which i really hope he does. and continues to do.

okay, i need to shower. even though i have a day off tomorrow, i have a feeling i'm going to be going to bed before everyone else in my apartment anyway. lol. nite.

Thank Goodness for Email

I am going to Italy. For sure. Horray.

The Reasons Why I Love "Twilight" and Feel Lame About It

for those of you who are unaware...there is this book. its called "Twilight" and then it has sequels. i just started reading the first of the four this weekend. and i completed "Twilight" within 2 days. its kind of like a Harry Potter thing. strange. here's what its about from barnes and noble.com:

About three things I was absolutely positive:
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him–and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be–that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

“I’D NEVER GIVEN MUCH THOUGHT TO HOW I WOULD DIE– I’d had reason enough in the last few months –but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. . . . Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of something else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.”
When Isabella Swan moves to the gloomy town of Forks and meets the mysterious, alluring Edward Cullen, her life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With his porcelain skin, golden eyes, mesmerizing voice, and supernatural gifts, Edward is both irresistible and impenetrable. Up until now, he has managed to keep his true identity hidden, but Bella is determined to uncover his dark secret.
What Bella doesn’t realize is the closer she gets to him, the more she is putting herself and those around her at risk. And, it might be too late to turn back. . . .
Deeply seductive and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight will have readers riveted right until the very last page is turned.

so here's my list.

1. a refreshing look at vampires. my last "education" on this subject came from buffy. thank you.
2. pale skin is in. heck yes.
3. juxtaposition of normal events, such as baseball, are set against premonitions, super human strength, and bear hunting (without weapons)
4. bella is fierce.
5. i never thought about my scent much more before this. i'll have consider it as an object of attraction now.
6. edward could make basically anyone weak at the knees. he can "tamper" with my mind anyday.
7. glittering skin in the sun? stephenie meyers (the author) is uber creative.

i have to admit...i totally made fun of my roommates before reading these. they were pretty obsessed. and hey, now i've joined the club. haha. omg.

Burn it down...

i haven't heard this song by deathcab for a while. i like it.

so this morning i opened up Microsoft Excel and figured out my budget for the next two semesters. whoa. that's what i have to say. i mean, the fall semester is taken care of by my PEO Loan Fund (thank you, oh so very much) and then my normal student loan. but obviously going to Italy is a big financial undertaking. i have a tiny big saved up from this spring and summer. plus my student loan again. but still there's a bit chunk of change to find. make. save. a whole $9,000 to be exact.

so if you'd like to contribute. please mail your contributions to me. i'll give you address. thanks. lol.

I Don't Care...and That is Good

Last night i woke up and peeked at my phone. "1 New Message." Splendid. Not so much...because this message happened to have some very nasty words in it. Actually just two...

"Fuck off"

And honestly, considering who it was from...2 years ago, i would have been in a frenzy about it. i would have freaked out. i would have texted back. i would have called all of our mutual friends to see what i had done to piss him off. because obviously, it was my fault.

but no...not now. it really doesn't matter. things are so hot and cold between us anyway. one minute i'm the best friend. then i'm not needed. and then, like last night, i'm hated. but let me tell you, it is a joy to be able to text my best friend and say, "____ texted me last night to say, 'Fuck off' Lol." to laugh about it. to be free of it. and him. to not worry.

okay. work. i need to train people, who are around my parents age, what a blog is and how to use it. it should be fun.

Ouch...My Neck Hurts

yes...here i am. back on Blogger. strange how things come full circle. recently (i'd say this summer) i have been stalling on my blogging. I have an account with Xanga...but I just wasn't using it. and i can't delete it, because that's three years of my life sitting out on the internet. so i decided to start fresh. with you. whoever you may be. and i'm excited.

i think i might even start including video blogging, which i kind of like now, since i have to do it for my devos for church.

okay, i'm getting a neck/hand/arm cramp. too much fussing around with this. post you later.